The calendar says “January,” but even if you didn’t have your datebook handy, you’d know what month it was by the ads in print, on radio, and on television.
Taking advantage of that familiar first-of-the-year longing to improve, offers for special values on gym memberships, low-fat entrées, and exercise equipment are everywhere. One might also opt to better the self with programs that will teach a foreign language or foster greater professional success.
The calendar says “January,” but even if you didn’t have your datebook handy, you’d know what month it was by the ads in print, on radio, and on television.
Taking advantage of that familiar first-of-the-year longing to improve, offers for special values on gym memberships, low-fat entrées, and exercise equipment are everywhere. One might also opt to better the self with programs that will teach a foreign language or foster greater professional success.
Between personal promises of weight loss or career achievement, the New Year undoubtedly hangs heavy with potential to reach new goals and, hopefully, make ourselves happy. But I'm wondering if this inner-looking resolution making is a little shortsighted.
In the first week of the New Year, I watched a longtime family friend’s five children close her casket, participate in her funeral, and follow her to a final resting place. I could not help but wonder if, amidst the loss in their hearts, they were not also feeling regret over what might have been.
When my parents passed, I faced a remorseful review of too many occasions when I did not call my folks, when I did not write or visit them. When the opportunity had passed, I was awash in sorrow over the times I chose not to make my parents a bigger part of my life.
The same goes for other loved ones, be they beloved aunts and uncles, past teachers, or former neighbors. Each time I heard one of them had met their demise, I bitterly wondered why I had allowed some pursuit to prevent me from reaching out to these people who had shown me such kindness in life.
This dear family friend who just died has me asking that same question. While I knew her health had not been the best, I managed to convince myself I was so busy this holiday season that I could not drop by her house while passing numerous times through the town where she lived. And now I’ve missed my chance.
It makes me think about dear ones whose health grows a little dicier with each passing year—my parents’ few remaining siblings, cousins and friends, former colleagues and coworkers who were good to me way back when. Will I again have to swallow the bitter realization that I missed out by not going to the trouble to be in touch?
It is true that in this New Year I am pledging, again, to drop some of the extra weight around my middle. And, yes, the year also sees me reprising the vow to attain greater things professionally. But these all-about-me items are not at the very top of the list.
Resolution No. 1, rather, is to better pay attention to the people I care about. If I can begin to make good on that promise, whether I achieve anything else, 2015 will be a very good year.
Pat Grimes, a former South Bay resident, writes from Ypsilanti, Mich. He can be reached at pgwriter@inbox.com
