The occasion was my cousin’s 30th wedding anniversary, which he and his bride chose to honor with a renewal of vows. I am veteran of enough family visits to know a good opportunity when I see one.
This was the kind of event where I’d be with oodles of kinfolk, all there for the big to-do. Reconnecting with my cousins, who I regularly saw in my childhood, and some of their children, who I knew from taking my own kids for visits, would be great fun in the context of a party. Despite the steep cost of airfare, this trip would be worth it.
The occasion was my cousin’s 30th wedding anniversary, which he and his bride chose to honor with a renewal of vows. I am veteran of enough family visits to know a good opportunity when I see one.
This was the kind of event where I’d be with oodles of kinfolk, all there for the big to-do. Reconnecting with my cousins, who I regularly saw in my childhood, and some of their children, who I knew from taking my own kids for visits, would be great fun in the context of a party. Despite the steep cost of airfare, this trip would be worth it.
Even better, the gathering would take place on the beach of a peninsula poking into the sound across from Fishers Island, New York. The Pacific Ocean remains my favorite, the one I grew up with. But the Atlantic has charmed its way to the number two spot in my heart.
I allowed six days, more than my usual for a family get-together. After making the rounds with this relative and that one, catching up on the details of each other’s lives, I generally get fidgety, feeling the need to pack up and head home.
However, the days before the big soirée were filled by helping the principals with party preparation. This passed the time well; there was plenty to do, and my epic journey wrangling a broken-wheeled portable ping-pong table around the marina to the celebration venue will not soon fade in our clan’s mythology.
What made the affair even more special, though, was the presence of extra family. A year-and-a-half ago, my cousin’s wife discovered the identity of and made contact with her birth father, who never knew she had been born.
The last 18 months, then, have been blessed by her getting to know her dad and her relations on his side. The anniversary bash became a chance for her to meet a few more and for most of us to introduce ourselves for the first time to loved ones we didn’t know we had.
Late on a Saturday afternoon, the wife and cousin staged a beautiful event on the sand, the breeze blowing gently off the water and relations gathered closely to witness confessions of commitment and gratitude.
Many eyes filled with tears of happiness for the couple, by this time wise enough to know they had each landed the catch of their lives. Perhaps a few of us were also envious these two had negotiated the changing waters and shifting winds of 30 years, wanting only to stay the course and continue sailing together.
All in all, it was an excellent excursion, one that left my heart brimming with the joy we took in this union, a profound delight in getting to know some new people I’m at least distantly related to, and renewing bonds with dear ones I have known almost all of my life.
Likely I’ll be sorting these new memories for years, and that’s a mighty fine value for one trip.
Pat Grimes, a former South Bay resident, writes from Ypsilanti, Mich. He can be reached at grimespat19@gmail.com
